


The One Where Magister Pavus And Ashkaari Join The Inquisition

by coveredinfeels



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Banter, M/M, Parody Of Myself, Tragic Rilienus Backstory, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 05:17:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13228860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coveredinfeels/pseuds/coveredinfeels
Summary: A ridiculous AU I've had ricocheting around in my head for some time, mostly as in canon but where Dorian is a Magister who has spent years fighting the Venatori and is So Done With All This Shit and The Iron Bull is a young Vashoth whose Tama took him out of the Qun when he was a baby, who works as a merc in Krem's company and is just The Nicest Boy.





	The One Where Magister Pavus And Ashkaari Join The Inquisition

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to the twitter crew for goading me on and accepting me for the ridiculous mess of AU ideas and Rilienus headcanons that I am. This is all your fault. You know who you are.

Dorian Pavus will admit to having once been young, and when he was young, he'd made a decision. Also, gotten into a shouting match about it with Rilienus on the morning of his father's funeral, which looking back had not been his finest moment.

“I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror in the morning. If you had cheekbones like mine, maybe you'd feel the same way.”

If he'd known that would be the last time they'd speak, he perhaps would have been kinder. Rilienus had perfectly acceptable cheekbones, after all. It was his moral cowardice that was the issue.

He wonders if his father would have found it ironic, that in the end Dorian had chosen duty over love after all. Or perhaps just annoyed that he'd managed to sully the family name, all the same.

* * *

So, the Venatori appear to be involved in some jolly plan to tear asunder the fabric of reality, and yet the general opinion is still that it's _Dorian_ whose actions are going to bring about the fall of Tevinter.

It must be a Tuesday.

To be honest, the timing of the whole thing is not exactly ideal. Then again, when one is performing the political equivalent of a juggling act, where the thing you are juggling is knives that are also on fire, there never was going to be an ideal time, now, was there?

It has to be him who goes.

Not because it is personal, although a certain lady of House Tilani might suggest, repeatedly, that that is where his motives lie. He is no longer a youth, to hare off on some whim. This is a calculated move, a calculated risk, and his calculations tell him that the one to take the risk has to be Magister Dorian Pavus.

Incidentally, it's Gereon's research they're using, of _course_ it's fucking personal. Consider it multitasking.

* * *

The Herald of Andraste is a dwarf, and he allows himself a private moment of amusement about the sort of consternation that little fact is going to cause among the ranks of the Tevinter chantry.

The Herald of Andraste is also very, very _young_. Then again, who isn't, these days? He doesn't really consider himself old, but it is true that he seems to find himself surrounded by the enthusiasm and optimism of the young, which is quite trying.

He is sure he was never so trying, himself. Magister Dorian Pavus was born with a counter-spell at the ready and a witty quip at the tip of his tongue, and he has never been anything so ghastly as _optimistic_.

The optimism is at least helpful, in that his offer of assistance is accepted immediately, even over the very reasonable objections of the Seeker. It's quite likely they're all going to get killed by the giant demon-spitting hole in the sky either way, but at least he can look forward to facing death head-on and telling it to go fuck itself.

Also, besides attempting to save the world, he'll likely get to set a fairly large number of Venatori on fire.

Again, multitasking.

* * *

He has been on cordial professional terms with Cremisius Aclassi for some time, although for reasons he refuses to elaborate on it's been several years since he's done any work for Dorian, or indeed been seen on the civilised side of the border between Tevinter and Nevarra.

It would be hypocritical of Dorian to not respect a man's right to his secrets, and also he hasn't been able to find out any solid information at _all_.

He is not surprised to find that Cremisius is now the head of his own company. He is mildly surprised to see him being trailed by a shirtless qunari the size of a small house, and very surprised that said shirtless qunari appears to be happy to see him.

It is not that Dorian cannot be cordial to qunari mercenaries; indeed he has achieved varying levels of cordialness with any number over the years, including, on one memorable occasion, a very naked level of cordialness which was sadly cut short by an assassination attempt.

They might have at least waited until after Dorian was sexually exhausted, which would have been both good strategy and good manners, but alas, all his enemies are utterly wretched on both those accounts.

At any rate, first meetings are usually marked by a sort of jointly respectful wariness on either side. Not by a smile nearly as broad as his chest, as if he could say _happy to meet you_ and actually mean it. “I'm The Iron Bull!” he says. Up close he is even bigger. Incidentally.

“Hello, The Iron Bull.” Dorian returns. “I am the distillation of everything your people fear most. Lovely to meet you.”

He gives Cremisius a look that is intended to indicate his displeasure at Cremisius' choice in companions, but it is clearly entirely lost on him, as he appears to be busy attempting not to laugh.

* * *

Dorian: _The Iron Bull_ , really?  
Krem: He's convinced he needs a _mercenary name_. It was all I could do to stop him becoming The Dawnstone Dragon.  
Dorian: ...after the _brothel_?  
Krem: No, actually. He just really likes dragons.

Cole: _You're a coward. The sight of you sickens me._  
Dorian: That particular bridge is more burned than most, Cole. Playing in the ashes will do nobody any good.  
Cole: You wish you hadn't meant it.  
Dorian: Nonsense. I'm far too busy for regrets.

* * *

Ashkaari-- _The Iron Bull_ still feels like an ill-fitting pair of shoes, something Tama says he'll grow into-- has always been vaguely aware that mages are Dangerous. _bas saarebas_ , Tama would say, shepherding him away from any local mortalitasi with a shake of her head, the thing she liked least about Nevarra.

Ashkaari would understand if it was just about the necromancy, because that's scary, but it was more of one of Tama's statements about the world, things that were not to be argued with. Drink your milk, it will make you grow big and strong (to be fair, that one had worked out pretty well). The Qun is a monster grown beyond the Teachings (he didn't really understand this one but she was pretty firm on it). Magic is a Dangerous Thing.

Given that magic made the sky spit out demons, she does have a point, although Dalish has never made demons spit out of anywhere and he spent the first three months after meeting her watching pretty closely just in case.

Then he meets Magister Dorian Pavus. “Just Dorian, really.” he says. “The title is something of a necessary evil.”

Tama said that it is good to pay attention to the world around you, so it doesn't feel too bad that he spends rather a lot of time taking notice of things about Just Dorian. There's the obvious: that he is very very handsome, that he says he likes wine but he drinks a lot of ale, that he has a very impressive scar that spiders across his always-bared shoulder, which Dalish says is from magic but won't give more details except to say he must be a tough bugger to kill. There's the part where he smiles a lot, about everything and anything, and that somehow this makes Ashkaari feel like maybe he's actually not very happy at all.

He's also not at all scared of Ashkaari, which is nice. He tries not to be scary, as best he can, except when he's fighting. Krem said to him once _just yell something in Qunlat_ , and it does work. Although Ashkaari isn't actually fluent in Qunlat and Tama hasn't taught him any bad words but mostly bandits and things don't know that, so they jump just as well if he yells _ham and egg pie_ at them as anything else.

* * *

The Iron Bull: Your scar, um.  
Dorian: A rather nasty lightning spell. My enemies already know that if they intend to kill me, they had better get it right the first time, but this makes a nice reminder of how difficult that is. The man who did it is dead, if that's what you're worried about.  
The Iron Bull: I was going to say that it's pretty.  
Dorian: (laughs) It does have a certain dramatic charm, I suppose.

Cole: _The wound burns with magebane. His skin warm in the lamplight. Which did you expect to be more effective, old friend, poison or sentiment?_  
Dorian: Since I am standing here, you may presume that neither achieved the desired outcome.  
Cole: He was the one who hesitated.  
Dorian: I don't even have time to regret my own mistakes. Why should I dwell on those of others?


End file.
